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But
I've seen before of course. You were the man  who came yesterday. Why did you beat me? Why the dry purple swollen eyes the tear ducts scratched till bleeding the young abused face awestruck at an ancient destiny the cold crawl of a future sunk into a half-full bureau mirror reflection I watched my teeth drop one by one into a spotted glass of water on the windowsill resting alone below a yellow cab paused for nothing no one I sunk deep into the dark flexible corner in the back of the taxi alone on Central Park South a non-descript fall day two business men with black attachés and black coats collars upturned short brown hair muffled in an empty breeze look downthrough the window in to me a frustrated hailing hand on my door handle "But I don't see anybody!" "The kid's  in there!" with thumb stiffly curved over his should at me and stare some more and a frozen halt of a blank face but I turned away and sunk deeper still in the black vinyl of rolling forward strength thinking: "I am invisible. Silent. I do not exist." The wonder of a little boy. The silent non-being of unblinking eyes. Imperturbable calm. A ceaseless caress of invisible hands on my invisiblelips. I cannot blink to think. I saw your eyes in their grand revolution above my open skull like words of praise that one great word: Yes. Come to me. I have felt your languished breasts upon my scaly cheeks. Fault the furrows of mangled teats in a wreckless triumph to a sublimated mass. You could swagger your hatred of me at me like a  triumphant defeat all yours yet mine. A laughing proof of your exact disgust. Rage. Rage. Rage. I laugh in giddy terror. Planes plunge so this is how I shall die A thin silver streak divides my night as a blank knife swifts through my chemise. Did I ever ask you? Did I ever ask you for my love? Here mother: Here it is  |
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